day 51 – at sea

what a day!  seas were fairly calm, i met a couple of the new guest entertainers (a couple are nice, one seems like kind of a tool), and getting to know some of our new guests who embarked in sydney… fun people!  don’t know what it is about the aussies, but they like to have fun and seem most of the time to have a great outlook in general and are quite pleasant to be around.  lucky for me! 

after speaking to my boss about the touching thing, he sent them in tonite during my 8 o’clock break to unbolt and move the bandstand and piano around til i could see the bar entrance that was allowing folks to enter previously unseen (underscore here with song ‘night and day’)… what a difference about a foot and a half makes!  i am grateful they took this issue seriously enough to make a concrete environmental change that would effect a cure… they can’t sneak up anymore!  you have no idea how relaxed i was during my main showtime, and i know now precisely how tense it was making me, because i am now feeling so much more secure… yay!!!  i feel a burden has been lifted and i can move on from this issue (underscore here with song ‘at last’)

my theme tonight was ‘piano bar legends,’ featuring the music of elton john, billy joel and ray charles.  no way could i get through that play list in less than a week, but i just picked highlights and stuff i thought folks would enjoy most.  in music, a few classic preference wars would be like, beatles vs. rolling stones, you usually like one better… between elton and billy (ray gets his own category with a shrine and chorus of angels), no contest for me, i am such an elton fan… i mean, i will always do a bunch of billy joel and i genuinely like only a few of his tunes, as most of his stuff, to me, often comes across as a bit contrived and as if he likes himself way better than most other people do, but mostly i do his stuff because it’s expected… but in my book, elton john, excuse me, sir elton john is just way way waaaaaaaaaay better… if i have to play stuff that’s not jazz, and you said what’s your favorite of those tunes, i’d have to say elton is right up there.

the thing that’s great about playing these guys is that when anyone asks for one ‘em, you can say, “do you want pretty elton/billly/ray or rockin’ elton/billy/ray?” and there’s a song for every occasion…

i still owed everyone a port song from cairns (see previous entry for explanation), and did take the liberty of writing a public service announcement song in lieu of an actual port song, and i went for it… it required a few edits throughout the day and up til performance to tone it down a little and as not to be too harsh… enjoy… - df

port song for cairns pronounced like cannes 

(tune is made up in my head… same chord progression as ‘Plenty of Money and You’)   

(intro)

i hope you had a good time on a rainy day in cairns,

but what i want to talk about right now is wandering hands  

you can consider this a public service announcement                                           

an official proclamation, a piano bar pronouncement                                     

no one likes to be with you each night as much as me,                                   

but that’s not an invitation to go a-touching me!                                              

so we can all keep on a-happily singing along                                               

please listen very carefully to my heartfelt song                                             

(tempo)

it seems that some folks seem to think that i won’t mind                 

someone sneaking up on me from behind,                                       

and grabbing my shoulder or putting a hand on my head                             

but i’ve got an idea you could employ instead                                               

don’t touch me!  not when i am up here on the band stand  

i’m trying to entertain and a panic attack makes it pretty tough                    

don’t touch me, and you and i will get along just fine, man               

if i can see you i’ll be glad to shake your hand or maybe even give a hug   

i’ve tried to let you know by saying it out loud                                    

i even put a sign up for the back door crowd,                                                

there’s lots of room in front and on the sides where i can see                     

but if you sneak up from behind it scares the heck out of me                       

don’t touch me!  not when i am trying to make music                                         

i’m playing my gig and an anxiety attack makes it pretty tough                          

don’t creep up on me, it always scares me and i don’t wanna lose it                

this job requires concentration, i’m not just up here sitting on my duff              

i finally reached my limit and i talked to the boss                                          

he said he understood why i might feel a bit cross                                       

he ok’d a rearview mirror and a work crew too                                             

to unplug and turn the whole darn stage to keep my eyes on you!               

no, don’t touch me!  not when i am trying to entertain you    

i do the best i can, but having a heart attack makes it pretty tough              

don’t sneak up on me, hopefully this song might help restrain you                       

i’m asking from my heart, i’m not trying to be all up here in a huff                

you wouldn’t touch a chef when she’s using her knife  

you wouldn’t touch a doctor when she’s saving a life             

you wouldn’t touch a zoo keeper in a sleeping lion’s cage      

so please stop touching me when i am up on the stage            

you wouldn’t touch a teacher when she’s teaching a lesson     

you wouldn’t touch a cowgirl cleaning her smith and Wesson   

you wouldn’t touch a baker when she’s frosting a cake                

so please stop touching me or i will start taking breaks!             

i’d hate to accidentally knock somebody’s teeth out of place

with a backwards reflex kung fu move right to the face                                

with every subsequent episode my reflexes rise                                          

makes me want to reach behind and poke someone’s eyes            

so don’t touch me!  not when i am throwing down tunes for you                  

let’s all have a good time, oh, feeling jumpy makes it pretty tough               

no don’t touch me, if you need me, on the front and sides there’s room for you 

we can shake hands or a have a peck on the cheek

as long as i can see you we can hold hands all week

i’m not opposed to linking arms when we share a walk,

we can have a friendly hug and i’m always happy to stop and talk

you can catch my eye, but don’t touch me while i’m up here doin’ my stuff!

i really mean it….

you can catch my eye, but don’t touch me while i’m up here doin’ my stuff!